The Vow Part 3
by Jazzy Raveler
Summary: Sean Cameron fulfills his vow tonight! And on the show! Read and Review guys! And go to my forum Degrassi Season 6to talk about the premiere! Love ya!


**_Author's Note:_**

Hey Guys! Ok I know I promised that I'd put this out the same day as the other

and I totally flaked but I'm sorry. Life has been kicking my tail lately and I've been sick and...well you get the picture. Anyway, for anyone who didn't realize it this story- the Vow 1, 2, and 3-is my take on what happened between the episode back and black and the season premiere episode here comes your man

It should all fit in pretty neatly. But, since I am one of those crazy fans who refuses to watch-and I do mean that I haven't seen one-to watch spoilers, I'm not sure how it goes when Sean _first _sees Emma. So...I just made this up lemme know what ya think ok!

Oh and Solaris, sorry but theres not too much Sean and Emma interaction in this one

Just so you know, but check the other two there's lots there!

Peace!

Love Ya **Solaris and BabyPrincess56**!

_**Jazzy-Raveler!**_

**Disclaimer: Do I really need to go into detail here...?**

**The Vow Part 3 **

**Fulfilled **

My eyes glance up restlessly at the clock

4:25 am and here i am wide awake in some crummy hotel room.

_**This time, This place **_

I stand up putting on my jacket and hat

I walk out the door my mind drifting slowly through...memories of

Her

Her face

Her smile

And I smile to myself.

I wonder what she's doing right now

Probably up excited about her first day back to school

Back when,

-Way back when we musta been like 12 and 13-

Spring break or something….

She'd been so excited about school starting back

This giddy little…girl

She made my life a living hell!

_"Sean do you have your books?_

_Sean did you do your homework?_

_Sean do you need some help…?"_

I pause,

She always helped me study.

She made life so easy.

And I just took her for granted…

_**Misused, **_

I think about how every time we broke up

I did something dumber than the last time

Pushing her,

Making out with Ashley

Blaming her for not having time even though I knew Snake had cancer,

Stealing his computer,

Then breaking up with her right in front of Jay,

I wouldn't be able to stand thinking about this if I didn't know that I'm different now

And if she gives me another chance?

I'll never hurt her again.

_**Mistakes **_

I drag my feet across floor heading for the door.

Some lady is rushing over towards me "Sir? Sir?" I just glance at her

Look at her nametag tryna see if she's Shelly-I'm not tryna be rude-

The name tag doesn't say Shelly

It says…

_Emma_

I glance at it again; _Cecilia_

_Aw, Hell!_

I ignore whatever it is that the ladies saying

I've gotta get to Emma

I'm seeing things

I walk out the door heading for…

Well, going for a walk

I've wasted enough time just sitting around

**_Too long_**,

A year is a lot of time to waste

Wishing that you could hold someone

Breathe someone in,

Love them,

And hoping that they can figure it out

Even though you never told them

As I walk down the dark sidewalk heading towards the busy street

I glance up at the stars thinking

_I just hope someone else hasn't told her._

_I hope that **somewhere** in this last year she realized that I love her_

_**Too late **_

The cars are driving by me pretty quickly

And I step off the sidewalk

Drifting across the street

Not too slow

But not too fast either

Some jackass beeps his horn screeching past me as I step to the other side

_Forget whoever that was_,

I think and keep walking

The silence-well, as silent as it is-

Causing me to recall memories of last year

Failing grades…

Halfdrunk Sluts…

Fights…

Arguments with my parents…

Missing Emma like Hell…

Seems I didn't accomplish too much by staying in Wasaga

...Except missing Emma like Hell.

_**Who was I to make you wait? **_

Somehow

I end up here

In front of Degrassi

The memories that I've been able to avoid for a while

Hitting me like bricks

The best and worst moment of my life

Killing Rick Murray….

Saving Emma Nelson….

I shudder and smile at the same time

Pushing the thoughts of Rick out of my mind with that reassuring thought

Emma _did_ forgive me

I remember

And that's why

I'm pretty sure

She'll give me another chance,

Then again…

No, I'm not

_**Just one chance **_

I still can't shake that feeling

Like Rick's ghost is staring at me

And I shiver a little

Thinking about the first time I was ever scared of him…

He was so…such a nobody

Insignificant

Hardly crossed my mind

But when he pointed that gun at her?

All of a sudden he was the toughest guy I'd ever dealt with

And with his insignificant life

And his insignificant crush

He was about to take it all away

And all of a sudden?

I was gasping…

Because of Rick

I was the one scared

And full of it

And I was about to give it all up...

Just for her

I shiver a little

Rick died

_I _coulda died

**_She_ **coulda died

And she woulda never even known that I…

A tear rolls down my cheek and I realize that I am freezing

And shivering

But I still wonder

If I woulda had the guts

Even being on the brink of death

To tell her the truth

"I love you, Emma."

_**Just one breath  
Just in case there's just one left **_

I comfort myself with the thought that I would've said it

Used the last of my energy

The last of my strength to let her now

I would've had to…

I wouldn't have had a choice

When it comes to Emma, I never do

_**'Cause you know,  
you know, you know**_

_**I love you  
I have loved you all along **_

I stoop down to the ground

Then stand up again

This is a waste of time!

This place, this school, reminds of too much

I've worked too hard to keep it together to just up and break down

Like a baby

Right here

Instead, I just focus on Emma

_She'll be here today_

I think,

But what will I say to her?

_**And I miss you**_

I hadn't thought about that much

And I turn, walking away from the school and the memory

I don't even have to _think_ about where I'm going

My feet move by memory down the sidewalk

And to her house

_I don't deserve to be forgiven,_

I think even though I know it won't help me any

I already know I don't deserve to be forgiven

Even if I did save her life

I was just 2 hrs away

And I never came to see her

To check on her

Never even called her

I was so close

And still, I managed to stay…gone

And now?

I don't even know her anymore

_**Been far away for far too long**_

Maybe if she knew how much I wanted to come

How many times I woke up in the middle of the night

Calling out her name

I have a feeling she might cut me a little slack

Or at least

That's what always happens in my mind

_**I keep dreaming you'll be with me  
and you'll never go**_

I choose not to think about if she'll refuse to speak to me…

I can't

That's _too_ much

_**Stop breathing if  
I don't see you anymore**_

My teeth are chattering

My mind is racing

I can't deal with what I'll do if she's done caring about me

What if she doesn't even wanna see me?

**_On my knees, I'll ask; Last chance…_**

So much of my life is wrapped up in her.

So much more than she'll ever know…

My first dance,

When I was about to fight Jimmy

With her

I wasn't even gonna go but I was hoping I'd see her there.

I went to her mom's wedding,

Hoping I'd see her there

And I did

And she danced with me

Kissed me

And even though it shouldn't have mattered

I should've been used to it...

Kissing, I mean?

Her kiss?

Was different.

Not like...what's-her-names

Or Ashley Kerwin's

I was _in love_ with her kiss

Might as well have been my first

I was in love with holding her

Even if it was just to do something stupid, like dance

I went to all of em after that

Just knowing she'd be there

Knowing she'd dance with me

Even though I dance like crap

I wonder if we ever will again

If she'll ever look at me like that again

If I'll ever touch her again

Hold her like that…

_**For one last dance**_

I am in front of her house now

And I sit down on the edge of her yard

I see not much has changed here

But I'm sure she has…

She's probably even more beautiful then she was when I last saw her

I don't think so though

That's pretty impossible….

I think about how I've changed;

I can see a little straighter now…

I can feel stuff now without being so afraid of it…

Like…love

Being depressed as hell for a yr?

That'll do it to a guy

But if I can just see her face again

Feel her next to me?

Man, would the last year have been worth it

_**'Cause with you, I'd withstand  
All of Hell to hold your hand **_

I hated myself a lot for a while

Hated myself for being so dumb

So blind that it took a kid with a gun

To make me realize

I was willing to risk my life for...

Her

_**I'd give it all**_

For…

Us

**_I'd give for us_**  
**_Give anything,_**

I wipe the tears away from my eyes, hatefully

I still _hate_ crying

Even if it is just "an expression of sadness"

As one of those quack therapists said

It doesn't help anything

Just makes me madder

Thinking that she'll hate me

Making me cry more

_I'm just being crazy!_

I try to convince myself

_She'll care…she'll want you._

_She'll…love you…_

Forcing my mind to believe it

_**But I won't give up**_

I look around me

It's so dark

But I can still see a little

I look back at Emma's house

No lights

No nothing

Remembering that I have on a watch

I click on the light and look at the time

"5:15"

It hits me now

_What am I doing sitting in Emma's yard at 5:15 in the morning?_

_That'll convince I love her,_ I think with a laugh

But then I think,

_I sure the Hell hope it does…_

_**'Cause you know,  
you know, you know **_

_**I love you **_

_**I have loved you all along **_

_**And I miss you **_

_**Been far away for far too long **_

Now my mind goes over the last time I kissed her…

Held her

In the ravine

I've replayed that day over and over in my head so many times

I can pretty much seeing it playing out in front of me

And then the next day too

_"Sean, I was hoping we could talk; really talk…"_

_"I got nothing to say."_

And just like that she was gone

Slipped through my fingers

Another tear falls when I think that all that Rick shit

Could've been avoided

If I'd just been with her

How much hatred she might still have

Could've been avoided

She'd still be in my arms

Instead of me sitting here

Hoping she'll be

After wishing for 2 years

That she was…

**_I keep dreaming you'll _**

_**Be with me **_

**_And you'll never go _**

_**Stop breathing If **_

**_I don't see you anymore_**

_Why did I freaking leave?_

_**So far away  
So far away  
Been far away for far too long**_

_Will she ever forgive me…?_

_**So far away  
So far away  
Been far away for far too long**_

_She'll have to…_

_I'll make her…_

I think

_I'm not that same scared little boy,_

_**But you know, you know, you know **_

I'm not scared to tell her the truth anymore…

How that day in Wasaga?

All I really wanted was to hug her

Love her,

For her to tell me _she'd_ be with me

Anywhere;

In Toronto,

Wasaga

Wherever

_**I wanted  
I wanted you to stay **_

I wanted her to need me

Like I needed her

And just three words from her;

Not Ellie,

Not my mom,

Noone but her

Would've made me come back

Knowing that I could deal with it

If I had her to help me

_**'Cause I needed  
I need to hear you sayI love you **_

But instead, I made a vow

I think and even as stupid as it seems to me

I know that one of the most important things

I can ever do in my life, is fulfilling it.

I stare out at the street and stuff my hands in my pockets

Standing up and staring at her house.

My watch says 6

And there's a light behind me

_A light behind me?_

Someone is up in the house

And I step away from the curb and move along the edges of the bushes

I realize I seem kinda creepy

But don't really care

I look in the window

And…

There she is

Long blonde hair,

Brown eyes…

Soft pink lips…

Emma Nelson

I can't really focus on feeling whatever this is I feel at seeing her

Cuz I'm too busy I'm wondering what the hell she's doing up at 6 in the morning.

I focus again, and notice she's wearing…

Something to jog in it looks like

And she's drinking some kind of

Green…stuff

Probably some of that disgusting energy muck she always told me to drink

Just remembering the taste, I scrape my tongue with my teeth

She does the same

And I smile at the face she makes

_Love her_

She looks so…different

But still the same

If that's possible

And even though I'm so happy to see her…

I start to wonder again

What will she do?

Say?

Even if she is the same what the Hell would she need with me in her life?

She's gotten by this long,

And this well,

Without me

But, I can't help but to hope that she will want me in her life…

Hope that she'll say the only words that I want to hear from her…

_**I have loved you all along  
And I forgive you  
For being away for far too long **_

When I stare back through the window I realize that she's not there anymore,

In the living room or whatever, and I turn a little seeing that she's outside the door

Hyping herself up for her jog or whatever.

I freeze,

If I try to leave she'll see me

But if I don't...

She already looks like she's staring at me…

She is…

She's walking slowly over into my direction

Not the dream,

Not my imagination,

Not a hallicunation,

She's standing right in front of me;

Emma Nelson

My reason for breathing.

She says slowly "Sean….?"

And I step out smiling with a nod

"Yeah…"

And she does it

She relieves any fears that I had of her hating me

And leaps over onto me hugging me

And I realize that I do still have a reason to breath.

**_So keep breathing_**  
**_'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore _**

"Are you here to stay?" she says into my ear

Not realizing that the sound of her voice is breaking me down

My reason for breathing,

_**Believe it  
Hold on to me and, never let me go**_

"Yeah," I manage to say steadily…

Knowing I couldn't go again if I tried…

_**Keep breathing  
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore **_

****  
"God, Sean! How are you?" She says stepping away from me and looking at me up and down.

"Fine…now." I say and I hug her again tightly

_**Believe it  
Hold on to me and, never let me go**_

I can't believe it.

I can't believe that I have Emma Nelson in my arms again…

After...everything

_**Keep breathing  
Hold on to me and, never let me go **_

I fell in love with her

Hurt her

Saved her

And now

Just like I swore I would

I came back to her…

My heart beats rapidly

But I calm myself down

Not letting myself cry, anymore

_**Keep breathing**_

I still don't now what will happen

I still don't now where we stand

And if this is the last time I ever get to hold her

I wanna make it last

The only vow I've ever made in my life

And I actually did it…

I came back to her…  
**_Hold on to me and, never let me go_**

Review Everyone Please!

Jazzy-Raveler!


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